Heelychat, the forum for heelys, the shoes with wheels - View topic

I dropped Seth and his mom off at LaGuardia airport in NYC. This worked out well; I didn't miss any turns and they arrived safely.

After that, I headed to a hotel his mom pointed out, to get a good night's sleep. This.. didn't work out so well.

I drove around the mega-block the hotel was at twice, going back and forth between NYC streets, and didn't find any parking. This doesn't mean it wasn't THERE, of course. I just couldn't see any. I go to one parking lot (one with those lovely little spikes that won't let you back up), and it's the entirely wrong one. The attendants there let me out through a slow-opening gate.. and I go to another parking lot, but this time it's to the wrong hotel. No single beds available, $389 a night. Lovely! Hell no.

Now bear in mind that this whole time I'm in the middle of New York City. I don't know anything about where I am. I'm very, very low on sleep. I'm not used to driving in a place where you can't stop anywhere, as every square inch of parking space is either owned by somebody or taken. Frustration and desperation are quickly creeping up and I start playing Escape from New York. Snake Plisken, eat your heart out.

So I get out of expensive-hotel's parking lot and realize that my road atlas is of absolutely no help. Now is when I follow one of my cardinal rules of driving: Go in one direction long enough and you'll eventually end up somewhere else. What I fail to realize is that this doesn't really work in a city made of islands.

I stop for gas in a station with one attendant, signs prominently displaying "this area is being monitored" (so what, they'll *watch* people try to mug me?), and not much else. In goes the fuel in the tank. Ask attendant for a map of the area, get a response akin to "Map? Urgle nurgle, no map. Bandallah n'fasdas, map in office." Yeah, like I'm really going to hang out here. "It's Queens, not even New York", Merlyn says. "It's a safe city", Merlyn says. RIGHT! It's safe if you have assault cannons coming out of your car.

Drive around in circles some more. Literally in circles- I'm looking for ANYTHING that might lead to a freeway at this point, and finding nothing. New York is apparently constructed like a lobster trap- you can get in but you can't get out. Go on a road where there's only one lane for two-way traffic because both sides are full up on parking. Finally - FINALLY! - find a bridge that leads out. Pay four and a half bucks to cross, and did I mention that my driver's side window won't roll up for five minutes after it's rolled down?

It's the Queensboro bridge.

(New Yorkers probably have three reactions to that: "You DIDN'T." "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" "How'd you survive?")

There are three ways to go from here: Downtown, Crosstown, and Uptown. Crosstown, naturally, is closed for construction. I still have no idea where I am until I come out the Uptown exit onto Third Street and...

lol hi im in ur manhattan dodging ur taxis

Adages of frying pans and fires come to mind. I don't know what I said at that point. It was a combination of disbelief and the inherent humor in finding one's self in an even worse situation than one escaped. The taxis in downtown Manhattan, and some of the pedestrians, are very literally insane, and I don't know if this is just because it's after midnight or they're always like this. They dodge by inches. Distances I wouldn't even consider Heeling next to someone at, they'll drive their cars. The white lines, and every other law (especially the 'no horn honking' one) are merely suggestions to them. There needs to be a new word invented here, one like 'bedlam' or 'total anarchy'- "Wow, that riot was total Manhattan." "Did you see that game of Quake? When those two went after each other it went Manhattan!" Now picture someone with a stress level like the Hoover Dam's water line and ND plates in the middle of this.

I don't know how many times I went around in circles, so damn desperate I was seriously considering paying for parking to sleep in (yes, in the middle of NYC), before I found the nine dollar troll (not as in Internet troll, as in a troll extorting money from people daring to cross its bridge) that finally got me onto the freeway, the New Jersey Turnpike, a "service area" where I slept in the parking lot, and sanity.

On the bright side, I ended up pointing south on the turnpike, which got me onto the southern Pennsylvania turnpike, which has an exit 25 miles away from Grandma's house.

That was nice. I haven't seen her in a dozen years- took me a while to find the place, going off half-remembered stuff- but I got to meet Grandma again and finally a good night's sleep in an actual bed this time.

For the day after that, I went to see a cousin in western Illinois I haven't seen in some years. He's a tattoo artist who gets all the women he wants. Envy, etc.

Was it all worth it for one full day of skating with Merlyn and company?

Of course it was. Smile

Team Heelys - Northeast Joined: 15 Dec 2006 Posts: 1803

Wow!!!

That's a story about really being alive!!!

Soooo cool you saw your grandmother and your cousin. Friggin awesome.

I got you to LGA, but I guess the next set of directions to the hotel Seth's mom knew about wasn't quite there.

I'm glad you had a good time, and that you got home ok.

MDHZ

Joined: 14 Feb 2007 Posts: 210

i know problems about getting home... not finding the right way, but... yah.... problems Razz

Joined: 13 Jul 2007 Posts: 273 Location: kentucky

lol nice

Banned Joined: 28 May 2007 Posts: 260

how long did it take u to get out of NYC

I'm honestly not sure. Time kind of loses meaning in a place like that. An hour and a half or so.

Team Heelys - Northeast Joined: 28 May 2007 Posts: 781

i hate bieng lost in the city because i cant sleep in the backseat the car its too loud

XD I love it! It brought me back to my days in San Diego and Los Angeles... Living out here in colorado... people say there is traffic... Yes, there is traffic... people say the roads are confusing... Yes, the are confusing... But compared to NYC or LA... HA! I feel like I drive around in Po-Dunk, Nebraska lol

Excellent story... We should write a book together... I'll write about the heeling expiriences, and you write about the driving expiriences lol